Paint the . P L A I N

On 10:48 PM , Thursday, March 29, 2007

World is big. many happening. feelings. joy. sadness. brokeness. Why Lord?

LALALALALALALALA..

0 words or thoughts?

On 9:27 PM ,

" Got one time hor.. i training swimming until no energy to wear my pants back leh.."

haha.. funny. but, seriously, is like tat. Totally exhasted.

hem.. but i seems to be having lots of fun i guess. i enjoyed every section, except for the 1st one. hem, juz try.. walk horiziontally from start to end of the football field, n run-speed at the cross section. For 25 minutes. Totally wanting to died.. haha

throughout the training, i tried my best i guess. will be taking too many acara again. so sad. but since i hav the chance, i will try. not knowing wat will happen, i obviously is terriblly SACRED! .. but i shouldnt b scare to do something i really fond to.

stress. kind of. teachers hav expectation, not really sure about my ability. but, will try. eventhough i felt bad when ppl r better. is hard to not be sad when everything is so intense. but, juz lik a test, is not everything, but a higher point of life. but juz wanna say something, i m not superman. haha..

i enjoyed training+no need study+having great, awesome time together.. haha!! all kind of weird jokes, happy moments.. i trying to malas.. haha.. training is not really about strenghthen myself onli.. i wanted to go mssj, for more knowledge, friends, n stuff.. is not really about winning, is a goal.. juz like life.. i prefer a diferent, hard, yet fruitful life than a daily rounine life. tat is why i cant be quiet.. haha..

Too much to say, will try take many pic lor.. heard tat Kota tinggi's stadium is BLUE!!! in colour.. Gosh.. really looking forward. hhaa.. yet scare.. hem.. confused.. yet, not really wanting things to go back to normal.. leaving ppl again. Friends tat mayb i will never see again. hem.. why must meet hav an end? ... simply no idea..

hem.. runnning!!!! JUMP!!! i love it!! well, anyone can judge me watever u like.. i simply dun care. but i will continue be me.. juz something.. "Is never about you, or me"

No one is everything. If so, there will never be a team.. by the way, KLUANG TEAM ROCKS!!!!! YAY!!

LALALALALALALALA..

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On 6:31 PM , Thursday, March 22, 2007

HappY? birthDay..

hem.. been busy lik mad. exam+add maths..plus rubbish.. I HATE SEJARAH!! gosh. but, since sch reopen, i been really happy, n so 'full'. no more depression ba.. at least now mountains of works to do la..

wah!!!! teachers r changed n teachers r gone. so sad. Pn Adilah went without 'bye!'.. i cant believe it! my goodness.. i really miss her.

well.. guess wat? today is my BIRTHDAY!!! YAY!! hem.. lots of 12am msg.. THANKS!!! a lot!! not as usual, i wasnt waiting for 12am to come.. i was hanging over. n kind of depress ba.. i m so glad to receive those msg!! i cried for 1. n the next 1 ,n so on.

When sch. gosh. suprise. gosh. present for some not-expected friends! i was SHOCK!! really shock. hem.. i guess, after all, a birthday present does miracles. throughout sch, not as usual, we were scolded by Pn tan, for being silent. hem.. lots of the quiet ones r asked to talk, of coz no me la. we actually had a great "chemsitry" class. where we learnt how to communicate..haha..

"I think your communication is more important than the atoms.."

which is 100% true!! haha..

Is was a great day. receiving n thanking. did wat i loved the most-SLEEPING!! for hours.. n missed a trip to chhs for the basketball match.. hem, fated la. no fate to see. but i really appreciate every wishes n gifts..

Someone gave me a letter with two ear-rings.. said:

".. Actually, these is two pairs of earings got thier own meaning u noe.. Th every 'sa' wan means you need to do something special in life. mayb is break record or stuff.. Then the girlish wan means you needs to be a good, kind, gentle friend to others.. Actually, dun you think these two are juz like us? v r so different, bt can be vry best friend for each others..Cool man.."

gosh. i cried to see tat. thorughout 16 years of life, i did a lot. n lost a lot.of coz, learnt a lot. What is life about? .. i found it.. Why here, not there? .. i understood.. somehow, pleased for the brokeness in life tat built me. family, friends, n ppl i wish to know.. too much. but i know when no one cares, someone cares.

one regret hit in my life-not dare to know ppl i really want to know. till now, some r long lost in somewhere, remain Unknown. or half-known. "how r you?"

hem.. birthday with tears? sad ke? no... is happy tears!!! YAY!! THanks a lot.. ppl.. ohH!!! today, i learnt. Sweet sixteen isnt tat special la.. juz a number.. but is depend on how u live it. For me, will try for different stuff.. haha.. n be salt n light. Let not the Unknowns to be unknown, let not the bad be worst, but better..

LALALALALALALALA..

0 words or thoughts?

On 10:59 PM , Saturday, March 17, 2007

Juz realise

I kind of having depression

i want to change

tried

took bottle

shout silently

cried out

pour

felt much better

hate being moody..

Lord, help..

help me not ask for tat anymore..

LALALALALALALALA..

0 words or thoughts?

Movies

On 8:17 PM , Sunday, March 11, 2007

Run.

Runing again.

Is tat all.. ?

" You shall never give up!!"

Tat was wat tat guy said when he was awaking up his players

i sudden realise

i lost to myself b4 everything

" Scare a!!"

as usual, i lost by saying tat

"R u going for baptisism class?"

so shock.

i totally forgot about being baptised.

always is a adult stuff

I m 16 soon.

so fast

I M OLD!!! YAY!!!

or YAY?

I m not ready for changes i guess..

Mssj coming.

will be DARK! obviously

no stress

mayb i m not expecting anything i guess..

gosh, forgot!

"nothing is imposibble if God is wit u.."

Is my heart wit You, Lord?

for ppl i want to meet so badly?

to prove tat i m good enough?

mayb i juz want God to prove miracles do happen..

"My faith shall not change when things change"

"For anything is possible,"

"Praise Him when i win, praise Him when i lose"

juz wondering.. how is he? mssd, is not everything ya..

ur last year

sad..

but happy to see u again

haha..

lots of stuff happened

i prefer being,

honest

LALALALALALALALA..

0 words or thoughts?

As the deer

On 7:07 PM , Friday, March 09, 2007

" Eh, tell u, those teacher hor.. very 'real' leh.. last time when i win hor.. they so good to me.. now i lose aldy hor.. they dont even want to see me leh.."

someone told me tat.

i was.. Confused. Why must ppl b so unfair?

In my life, i guess there is lots of unfairness. Sometime i question God, why like this.. but it is lik tat. Ppl will lik someone more than another i guess.

Fair. Nothing is ever fair i guess. SOme r better, has more.

thinking back, ya.

Why some can get wat they want, but some cant? so weird..

i guess is about how u live wit the 'unfairness'.. u can choose to accept or dun care about wat tat ppl tat dun lik u think n say.. OR be sad wit wat u dun hav.. n feel bad about urself..

For me, i choose to accept n DONT care. coz i cant please everyone, n i dun want to.

again, i hav to be back to life. n get things work. Mssj will be coming. YAY!! really missing senior runners.. hehe.. great to see them again.. goodness. last year for few for them. Kind of sad. Leaving again. After 4 years of happiness, i treasure.

" Thanks Pris.."

Every tears, hard work.. no one will know. But i know. N i honour every part u all gave.

LALALALALALALALA..

0 words or thoughts?

On 6:17 PM , Wednesday, March 07, 2007

×××××MSSD-ing×××××

Mssd-ing.. erm.. tired??! ya. of coz. i m half died. i juz couldnt sleep last nite.. dunno, i was thinking too much, n stuff will be happening.

i felt so terrible after coming bac from machal. dunno. ppl were asking: " Kenapa dengan Convent tahun ini? macam tak ada suara punya?" er, ya! TRUE!! why?? everyone look so died n no semangat. where hav Convent's semangat gone to?!

think. lots of athelet had left sch. include Saadah who i looked upon to. so sad. i felt so sad in sudden, to see mssd without the familar faces, noices, n cheering.. i miss them. n ppl tat i once meet thoughout my sport journey. Best tohard worked ones.. i juz kind of miss every smiles n faces n of coz, their presence.

Why some friends, can be met easily, weekly or daily, but some cant?

tis feeling sucks. Missing things tat i missed witout knowing it. Why must meeting ends wit leaving? meet n leave, here n gone. Sad..

i guess they all left for the better.

Memories forever. why cant i touch memories? i hope to..

Why didnt you take part? kind of disappointed.

Mentally, im died. Seriously damaged with thoughts.. happy to hav time with convent team! YAY!! Thank God for every single moment. Thank u those who play a part in tis moment..!!

*Goodness, all the hard work is in a medal... Medal is not juz medal i guess.E*

LALALALALALALALA..

0 words or thoughts?

On 3:32 PM , Saturday, March 03, 2007

SpeCIAlness..

"Come with me to a third grade classroom.."

There is a nine-year-old kid sitting at his desk and all of a. Sudden, there is a puddle between his feet and the front of his pants are wet..

He thinks his heart is going to stop because he cannot possibly imagine how this has happened. It's never happened before, and he knows that when the boys find out, he will never hear the end of it. When the girls find out, they'll never speak to him again as long as he lives. The boy believes his heart is going to stop; he puts his head down and prays this prayer,

"Dear God, this is an emergency! I need help now! Five minutes from now I'm dead meat."

He looks up from his prayer and here comes the teacher with a look in her eyes that says he has been discovered. As the teacher is walking toward him, a classmate named Susie is carrying a goldfish bowl that is filled with water. Susie trips in front of the teacher and inexplicably dumps the bowl of water in the boy's lap. The boy pretends to be angry, but all the while is saying to himself, "Thank you, Lord! Thank you, Lord!"

Now all of a sudden, instead of being the object of ridicule, the boy is the object of sympathy. The teacher rushes him downstairs and gives him gym shorts to put on while his pants dry out. All the other children are on their hands and knees cleaning up around his desk. The sympathy is wonderful. But as life would have it, the ridicule that should have been his has been transferred to someone else - Susie. She tries to help, but they tell her to get out. "You've done enough, you klutz!"

Finally, at the end of the day, as they are waiting for the bus, the boy walks over to Susie and whispers,

"You did that on purpose, didn't you?"

Susie whispers back, "I wet my pants once too."

May God help us see the opportunities that are always around us to do good.. Just going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in your garage makes you a car.

i was reading tis story when i tried to clear my mail box.. we had prayer meeting n tien said we should find the "specialness" in daily routine.. i was thinking n thinking..

NOTHING!!!~

goodness.. wat can i do after mssd?! study as usual? Saturday go yf? Sunday go church as usual? everyday the same thing?! where is my specialness? then, i was shocked to see email closely related wit my situation! gosh. wake me up.

N thanks guys.. i found happiness in my stress. i should be happy for the gifts n talents then stress for fears!! Thanks.

By the way, i broke the school's lompat tinggi's palang.. haha.. shock. but exciting. now, dunno whether there will be new one.. Sorry!! x0

LALALALALALALALA..

0 words or thoughts?

Lost

On 3:31 PM , Friday, March 02, 2007

Er... I m tired.. Mssd is so near. Juz next week, dayz away.. i m worried. pressure.

Gosh. I m under 18!!! WHY??? goodness.. haiz.. Why must sports be competitive??? I m tired with tat.. tis week... is like a year.. STRESS!! lots of crazy thoughts.. is so HARD!! trainning.. run.. n sometime juz seems so bad.. juz tension.

Taking more events than i hope to. Gosh. i m not superman. Yet, i m glad. Glad to be part of Mssd. happy to hang around wit those Form1 athelet.. HAHA.. they r small.. hahaha..

What if i didnt make it to Mssj?

Will life stop?

Will things be the same?

Will i praise You?

Will i still love who m i?

thoughts.. juz too much. i m tired.. everyone is tired.. so tired. n even injured. More n more r injured. included me. mine is small case, wat about others?

What will happen, Lord?

COnfused. Why ppl i looked upon to? but thanks anyway..

I m glad i saw you accidentally.. YAY!!!!

LALALALALALALALA..

0 words or thoughts?

This is me

TEO XUE QI =)
22-03-91
"Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore"
PSALM 16:11

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not me!

The rising sun
age old
yet new and inspiring
lighting up the world
with its soft pink rays;
just watching the familiar hues
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I return to emotions
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