Wake up now
Keep your head high
Choose your path
Paint the plain



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回家了..

On 10:40 AM , Monday, June 29, 2009
昨天没回家..
过了野孩子的生活?
半夜在外头.穿梭人群..
其实,我也不想的. 而且, 这班朋友都很有趣.
认真时认真; 娱乐是疯狂.
讲真的, 希望早点可以见到学校,教会的朋友..=)
比较踏实,保护-ed..

回到家, 是一种安慰.
真的, 甜蜜的安慰..
因为, 我真的不晓得明天是不是又忙不过来..
偷偷的, 我想哭.但, 是时候长大了吧?

面对残酷事实.
面对自己的要求,极限.
我怕. 我是怕的.

突然觉得少了支柱似.
没有. 不足?
但讲真的. 我很感激.这一回看见很多.
让我无奈的事太多了.为何, 为何..

我发现家庭真的很重要.
回头看看..
发现. 珍惜.
感谢主.我有两个美丽的家庭.
一个因耶稣而同聚;
一个无时无刻都'收留' 我的家.=P

想起这两个特别的家..足以让我活着.
真正的活着.=)
7 words or thoughts?

different

On 1:03 PM , Sunday, June 28, 2009
Finally some time out. =)
I don't really feel like talking. Nor doing anything.
THOUGH. I realised there're serious differences in basketball meetings in comparison with olahraga lorh. Dunno.

Back to zero.
Feeling like an out-sider.
or maybe. I just don't really want to adapt into that kind of culture?
DUNNO. I enjoy being with the team. (hahahahahaha..=D)
Just that. Different?

btw. Segamat is a small town lieh! Not many tall buildings.
I only got to play for a very short while yesterday. =) but. I really learnt a lot in terms of skills and team-y stuff. =) oh ya! and saw some cool famous players lorh!! woohoooo!! =)

AND. I still strong-ly believe.
Sorry. I still think that some guys may be horrible.
But not all bah.
not sure how long can I tahan in environment like such. suddenly dramas become so real, real. Impossibly real. when did receiving salvation becomes this hard? when did the balance of the world drifted this far away in split seconds?


LORD. I have questions.
Without answer.
2 words or thoughts?

lima hari

On 9:05 PM , Friday, June 26, 2009
I realised that a certain degree of exhaustion is enough for me to not survive through things happening around, including people's affairs, my studies, my family, friends' ups and downs, my physical abilities, my emotions, ETC. =)


MONDAY = smile. still alive!! not prepared. - but happy.=P


FRIDAY = die. no battery. Much to think and rejoice/be sad about?


0 words or thoughts?

tuesday!!

On 10:26 PM , Tuesday, June 23, 2009

0 words or thoughts?

ball lovers.

On 10:57 AM , Saturday, June 20, 2009
Don't you think it's insane?that people (young people man..) are willing to wake up as early as 7am to play basketball wherever they are? wooohh. CRAZY? hmmmm..

DUNNO.=)
hehehehehehehe.
Something really interesting about our team Bio-Phy is. HAHA. We talk a lot. Not as good as those pro people or been to those state/national games. hahahahaha. But. We love to get ourselves gathered, learn and play ball. =)

hehehehe.
I am inspired? YUP.
How can I not be?
Am inspired by how the samseng-looking guys are willing to teach and play with us. And people a.k.a 'trainers' who have totally zero relations with us, willing to come and at least give us some guidance.

Do we deserve it?
Why us, when there're so many teams out there?

I am amazed. By how God places people. So right. The same theory applies to basketball game. Just the same as God isn't finding the most talented or gifted etc. person, He is searching for an obedient child. =)

I realized that It's not about how great your name is or how good you're. So what if you're good but bossy and unfriendly merely just wanna win?

The ball might be round.
But the people playing it are just inspiring. =)
do not let pride hinder you from learning more..


btw. Good game! though we lost. Really glad to belong to a family like this. Me honoured. =)
加油 lorh!!
a beautiful realization that this ordinary life might just be the same as the other ordinary people. but guess what? it's because of all the ordinary people and the things done that make life joyfully ordinary. =D
5 words or thoughts?

On 12:13 AM , Thursday, June 18, 2009
Freaking tired. But just can't get myself to sleep?
dunno lieh. This time I really don't know?
Afraid of not living up to those expectations?
Basketball match coming, more responsibilities in school, violin exam somemore. And, frankly, Physics, Chemistry.. ARGH.

Suddenly a realization that I am not smart enough.
And, simply hard to live up to the Form 6 level, in terms of thinking(s), ways of handling things and people, mindsets, lifestyle, environment.ETC.

E XPL ORE LOH..
Human here?

more to come. People vs. people lieh?
Relationships. Unfulfilled expectations. not-expected reaction(s).
garhhhhhhhh..


A bit defeated? hehehehe. YUP. =)
Well, at least I am aliveee!! =D
my brain not functioning already.. =) good night, not-so-on-my-favor world.


"do not fear.." is repeated 365 times in the bible.. A M E N.
2 words or thoughts?

still here waiting

On 6:03 PM , Wednesday, June 17, 2009
It's cold outside
Or is that just the chill I feel inside from standing here
Steeping in my shame
I can't deny
I'm surrounded by the very thing
You freed me from
That's why I can't come home

I don't know where I turned around
From chasing what I always found completed me
More than I could dream
I don't know why I can't remain
Safe here where I always came to meet with you
And You always met with me
And You're still here waiting

I fail to see
Why You'd still be waiting to forgive me
After all that I have done
But I cannot say
That one time I returned and You had turned away
Your love never fails

You say, "Come home" and You'll be there
I can run into Your arms

- Todd Agnew "Still Here Waiting" =)

Your grace fell like the rain. yet here am I, clueless. tooo focused on temporary things? whose worshiper am I? sorry, will never be enough. Tears, will never fully embrace the beauty/comfort of having You.. =)



b e a u ti f ul Sa v io r. =D
2 words or thoughts?

On 5:08 PM , Tuesday, June 16, 2009

0 words or thoughts?

kuala lumpur..

On 8:51 PM , Sunday, June 14, 2009
hehehehehehe. I am back from kl lorh! =P
Wai Kit's birthday mah.. so we went up to kl lorh. =)
anyway. Once again. Kl = arghhh!!!!

hahhahhahahahaha.
Truly, home sweet home.
Nice to see people who will say: "Hi" in return to your "Hi"
and smile when you smile to them..
AND. Less %^$&#!^%&$@.. =D

hmmmm.
I realised I am not that thrilled by materials anymore? =P
I guess, the more you grow up, the more you realise what really matters bah.
glad to talk, and talk with you all..

garh.. School tomorrow. UHH.. =D
hahahahhahahahahaha. Back to hectic days. 6 am wake..
=) Phew.. At least there're school on this earth right? (look to the bright side?)
broken to be heal, only if you're willing to be healed? hmmmm.. Lord. why are cities these cold and closed door these much brokeness? so much work to be done..

In the end. City people will know.
Make-up(s), don't help.
be true to who you're, the way God made you.. =)

5 words or thoughts?

back home.. =)

On 11:47 PM , Tuesday, June 09, 2009
am back from FWP.
and sent people away, said good-bye(s)..

A bit weird. From a more spirit-orientated environment; to a down-to-earth people.

I went with an expectation of God directing.
Some decisions to make. =)
BUT. Things really changed when we reached there..
so I am there not because I love God? but intentions to know more about my life?

hmmm.
I didn't see any visions like the others did. =)
But I can assure. God was there. Something stirring inside, burning.
And, again. REPENTANCE. RENEWAL OF HEART.
BROKEN, TO BE USE.
what happened to the joy of salvation?


What I learn is that our faith has to be rooted deep enough. I realised I am not that desperate for revival compared to the things/people I want. I realised I am not really that wanting to lead etc? reason : multiple including takut?., indifferent? But God uses everyone. YUP. And even if you're super talented of gifted, not willing to change etc. He can always use other people.
Oooooouchhhh? *at least for me..*


DUNNO LIEH.
THOUGH. I can't believe prayer can last that long.
WOOOOWWWW..surely not via human strength! =D
and. sometimes, actions are more important merely speaking.

"Come, let us return to the LORD.
He has torn us to pieces
but He will heal us;
He has injured us
but He will bind up out wounds.
After two days He will revive us;
on the third day He will restore us,
that we may live in His presence. -HOSEA 6:1-2


...lord lead me to be a leader for Chirst.. =P
3 words or thoughts?

healer?

On 1:27 AM , Saturday, June 06, 2009
Today as I went to Kluang Mall's female toilet to change, to go for basketball practice. I happened to see the cleaning mak cik sitting aside without much expressions but some untold sorrows.

DUNNO LIEH.
sometimes, people don't speak much. But by the look of their faces, we simply can see their pains or unseen/unrevealed feeling(s)?

SAD?
Let's just call this world - m a d.
Its outrageous madness saddens me.
So does my own life's madness.

=)
HEALER. H E A L E R..
Set us free? =D

I just told her that it's when we're weak that God is strong.. Prayer = power. but what she didn't see is that I was reluctant in proclaiming this? ... *it's through our brokeness that God uses our lives..broken to be fixed. woooooow..=)*
2 words or thoughts?

the real thing

On 11:37 AM , Thursday, June 04, 2009
sometimes, it's weird to know that behind the visible happening(s), what happens inside is different and just unexpected.

Picture(s) of bliss.
Word(s) of encouragements.
roar of contentment?

Who knows what really lays behind huh?

Broken relationships. Broken promises. Unforgiveness. Jealousy. Low Self-image. Unfulfilled expectations. Pressurized. DIVISIONS?
Yet God breaks chains. And chains. And more chains, more chains., more chain..
GAHH. We just need to fall to learn? =)

What really hurts is to know too much?
I find it hard to accept, whether in school or church or even sports.
PRETTY/GENG!! = ACCEPTED.
NOT SO PRETTY/NOT SO GENG = IGNORED.

MAYBE.
Chances should be given for the inner being.
But, I guess we're just too busy for that. huh?

TODAY.
I will find ways to convince myself that God's timing is perfect.
I will find ways to view this world upbeat-ly. =)

today as we practised balls. I realised everyone earns the right to speak out their feelings.. I realised it's because of the way I viewed people that people viewed me the same way? *glad to be in this a-g-a-i-n, most-likely-would-lose-but-truly-happy team.* let's 加油!! =)

ANYWAY.
WHY MUST HUMAN SWEATS LIEH?
ISHHH.. don't like don't like..=(

is there any sports where people don't sweat? haha!!

4 words or thoughts?

"rise.."

On 8:38 PM , Tuesday, June 02, 2009
YAY! finally., back from camp! =D
heheheheheheheheehe..

To be utterly honest. I didn't want to go.
TIRED. DIS-ORGAZNIED.
I was tired untill a point, where I couldn't even remember where I am or why am I awake at certain places lieh..
HAHA!! though. BBQ, was quite a success? =)
*glad to have you all gathered!*

This is what I learnt. Me, no rights to underestimate God's power. =)
Let the poor says I am rich.
Let the blind says I can see.
This's the power of the cross. The answer.
Hosanna, Hosanna. Hosanna..
0 words or thoughts?

This is me

TEO XUE QI =)
22-03-91
"Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore"
PSALM 16:11


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The rising sun
age old
yet new and inspiring
lighting up the world
with its soft pink rays;
just watching the familiar hues
dance on the still water
I return to emotions
that never truly left.
Just as the sun sets
it rises again
wide arms embracing a new day.

- Li Steins -


Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain.

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