回家了..
On 10:40 AM , Monday, June 29, 2009
昨天
没回家..
过了野孩子的生活?
半夜在
外头.穿梭人群..
其实,我也不想的. 而且, 这班朋友都很有趣.
认真时认真; 娱乐是疯狂.
讲真的,
希望早点可以见到学校,教会的朋友..=)
比较
踏实,保护-ed..
回到家, 是一种
安慰.
真的,
甜蜜的安慰..
因为, 我真的不晓得
明天是不是又忙不过来..
偷偷的, 我想
哭.但, 是时候
长大了吧?
面对残酷事实.
面对自己的
要求,
极限.
我怕. 我是
怕的.
突然觉得少了支柱似.
没有. 不足?
但讲真的. 我很
感激.这一回看见很多.
让我
无奈的事太多了.为何, 为何..
我发现家庭真的很重要.
回头看看..
发现.
珍惜.
感谢主.我有
两个美丽的家庭.
一个因
耶稣而同聚;
一个无时无刻都'收留' 我的家.=P
想起这两个特别的家..足以让我活着.
真正的活着.=)
LALALALALALALALA..
7 words or thoughts?
different
On 1:03 PM , Sunday, June 28, 2009
Finally some time out. =)
I don't really feel like talking. Nor doing anything.
THOUGH. I realised there're serious differences in basketball meetings in comparison with olahraga lorh. Dunno.
Back to zero.
Feeling like an out-sider.
or maybe. I just don't really want to
adapt into that kind of culture?
DUNNO. I enjoy being with the team. (hahahahahaha..=D)
Just that. Different?
btw.
Segamat is a small town lieh! Not many tall buildings.
I only got to play for a very
short while yesterday. =) but. I really learnt a lot in terms of
skills and
team-y stuff. =) oh ya! and saw some
cool famous players lorh!! woohoooo!! =)
AND. I still strong-ly believe.
Sorry. I still think that
some guys may be horrible.
But not
all bah.not sure how long can I tahan in environment like such. suddenly dramas become so real, real. Impossibly real. when did receiving salvation becomes this hard? when did the balance of the world drifted this far away in split seconds?LORD. I have questions.
Without answer.
LALALALALALALALA..
2 words or thoughts?
lima hari
On 9:05 PM , Friday, June 26, 2009
I realised that a certain degree of
exhaustion is enough for me to
not survive through things happening around, including people's affairs, my studies, my family, friends' ups and downs, my physical abilities, my emotions, ETC. =)
MONDAY = smile. still alive!!
not prepared. - but happy.=P

FRIDAY =
die. no battery. Much to think and
rejoice/be
sad about?

HAHA!!! =P
I think. Things are just always that
inconsistent eh?
Well. They say this is
life. And, I can't help it but to agree lorh. =)
Don't run through life so fast that you forget not only where you've been but also where you're going.
LALALALALALALALA..
0 words or thoughts?
tuesday!!
On 10:26 PM , Tuesday, June 23, 2009

today we won!!wohooo?
hahahahahhahaahaha. well. didn't get to play much. hmm. Though. I learnt something really valuable. It
doesn't feel that good to not be able to play all the time. And.
Teamwork isn't just about the five people playing on court. =)
Basketball is more than just playing a ball?
The kind of
cheering frenz,
encouragaments,
fighting against keinginan untuk putus asa . =D No wonder. A team is made out of 12 people. Instead of just 5 or 7 people. =)
sort of lost my confident? arhh.. =P hehehehe..really hoped the last ball could go in but I guess it's the failures that make success valuable bah. =) hehehehe..
btw. It will be a
busy week yeah?
STK
hari koko coming! many stuff to do. Great team! HA HA HA HA..
My first and last year of
Under-18 Open ball game. =)
violin, violin, violin..scales, pieces, horrible
sight-reading. AHHH.
Will be going to
Segamat..
3-on-3 this Friday? =P
so
sad so many are leaving soon..
still feeling a bit
stupid for Physics and Chemistry. hahahaha.=P

Still
alive? YAY!!
am still learning to smile through these busy-ness, holding on to His promises. =) I realised that letting go things/dreams or people that matter a lot are just hard.
LET GO.
LET GO..
Simple things become that
significant. =)
LALALALALALALALA..
0 words or thoughts?
ball lovers.
On 10:57 AM , Saturday, June 20, 2009
Don't you think it's insane?that
people (young people man..) are willing to wake up as early as 7am to play basketball wherever they are? wooohh. CRAZY? hmmmm..
DUNNO.=)
hehehehehehehe.
Something really interesting about our team
Bio-Phy is. HAHA. We
talk a lot. Not as good as those pro people or been to those state/national games. hahahahaha. But. We love to get ourselves
gathered,
learn and
play ball. =)
hehehehe.
I am inspired? YUP.
How can I not be?
Am inspired by how the samseng-looking guys are willing to teach and play with us. And people a.k.a
'trainers' who have totally zero relations with us, willing to come and at least give us some guidance.
Do we
deserve it?
Why
us, when there're so many teams out there?
I am
amazed. By how God places people. So
right. The same theory applies to basketball game. Just the same as God isn't finding the most talented or gifted etc. person, He is searching for an
obedient child. =)
I realized that It's not about how
great your name is or how good you're. So what if you're good but bossy and unfriendly merely just wanna win?
The ball might be round.
But the people playing it are just inspiring. =)
do not let pride hinder you from learning more..
btw. Good game! though we lost. Really glad to belong to a family like this. Me honoured. =)
加油 lorh!!
a beautiful realization that this ordinary life might just be the same as the other ordinary people. but guess what? it's because of all the ordinary people and the things done that make life joyfully ordinary. =D
LALALALALALALALA..
5 words or thoughts?
On 12:13 AM , Thursday, June 18, 2009
Freaking tired. But just can't get myself to
sleep?
dunno lieh. This time I really don't know?
Afraid of not living up to those expectations?
Basketball match coming, more
responsibilities in school,
violin exam somemore. And, frankly, Physics, Chemistry.. ARGH.
Suddenly a realization that I am not smart enough.
And, simply hard to
live up to the Form 6 level, in terms of thinking(s), ways of handling things and people, mindsets, lifestyle, environment.ETC.
E XPL ORE LOH..
Human here?
more to come. People vs. people lieh?
Relationships. Unfulfilled expectations. not-expected reaction(s).
garhhhhhhhh..
A bit defeated? hehehehe. YUP. =)
Well, at least I am aliveee!! =D
my brain not functioning already.. =) good night, not-so-on-my-favor world."do not fear.." is repeated 365 times in the bible.. A M E N.
LALALALALALALALA..
2 words or thoughts?
still here waiting
On 6:03 PM , Wednesday, June 17, 2009
It's cold outside
Or is that just the chill I feel inside from standing here
Steeping in my shame
I can't deny
I'm surrounded by the very thing
You freed me from
That's why I can't come home
I don't know where I turned around
From chasing what I always found completed me
More than I could dream
I don't know why I can't remain
Safe here where I always came to meet with you
And You always met with me
And You're still here waiting
I fail to see
Why You'd still be waiting to forgive me
After all that I have done
But I cannot say
That one time I returned and You had turned away
Your love never fails
You say, "Come home" and You'll be there
I can run into Your arms
- Todd Agnew "Still Here Waiting" =)
Your grace fell like the rain. yet here am I, clueless. tooo focused on temporary things? whose worshiper am I? sorry, will never be enough. Tears, will never fully embrace the beauty/comfort of having You.. =)
b e a u ti f ul Sa v io r. =D
LALALALALALALALA..
2 words or thoughts?
On 5:08 PM , Tuesday, June 16, 2009
There is wisdom in knowing yourself. =)
LALALALALALALALA..
0 words or thoughts?
kuala lumpur..
On 8:51 PM , Sunday, June 14, 2009
hehehehehehe. I am back from kl lorh! =P
Wai Kit's birthday mah.. so we went up to kl lorh. =)
anyway. Once again. Kl = arghhh!!!!
hahhahhahahahaha.
Truly, home
sweet home.
Nice to see people who will say:
"Hi" in return to your
"Hi"and smile when you smile to them..
AND. Less
%^$&#!^%&$@.. =D
hmmmm.
I realised I am not that thrilled by
materials anymore? =P
I guess, the more you grow up, the more you realise what really matters bah.
glad to talk, and talk with you all..

garh..
School tomorrow. UHH.. =D
hahahahhahahahahaha. Back to hectic days. 6 am wake..
=) Phew.. At least there're school on this earth right? (look to the bright side?)
broken to be heal, only if you're willing to be healed? hmmmm.. Lord. why are cities these cold and closed door these much brokeness? so much work to be done..In the end. City people will know.
Make-up(s), don't help.
be true to who you're, the way God made you.. =)
LALALALALALALALA..
5 words or thoughts?
back home.. =)
On 11:47 PM , Tuesday, June 09, 2009
am back from FWP.
and sent people away, said good-bye(s)..
A bit weird. From a more spirit-orientated environment; to a down-to-earth people.
I went with an expectation of God directing.
Some decisions to make. =)
BUT. Things really changed when we reached there..
so I am there not because I love God? but intentions to know more about my life?hmmm.
I didn't see any visions like the others did. =)
But I can assure. God was there. Something
stirring inside,
burning.
And, again.
REPENTANCE.
RENEWAL OF HEART.
BROKEN, TO BE USE.what happened to the joy of salvation?
What I learn is that our faith has to be rooted
deep enough. I realised I am not that
desperate for revival compared to the things/people I want. I realised I am not really that wanting to lead etc? reason : multiple including takut?., indifferent? But God uses everyone. YUP. And even if you're super talented of gifted, not
willing to change etc. He can always use
other people.
Oooooouchhhh? *at least for me..*
DUNNO LIEH.
THOUGH. I can't believe prayer can last that long.
WOOOOWWWW..surely not via human strength! =D
and. sometimes,
actions are more important merely speaking.
"Come, let us return to the LORD.
He has torn us to pieces
but He will heal us;
He has injured us
but He will bind up out wounds.After two days He will revive us;
on the third day He will restore us,
that we may live in His presence. -HOSEA 6:1-2
...lord lead me to be a leader for Chirst.. =P
LALALALALALALALA..
3 words or thoughts?
healer?
On 1:27 AM , Saturday, June 06, 2009
Today as I went to Kluang Mall's female toilet to change, to go for basketball practice. I happened to see the
cleaning mak cik sitting aside without much expressions but some untold sorrows.
DUNNO LIEH.
sometimes, people don't speak much. But by the look of their
faces, we simply can see their pains or unseen/
unrevealed feeling(s)?
SAD?
Let's just call this world - m a d.
Its outrageous
madness saddens me.
So does
my own life's madness.
=)
HEALER. H E A L E R..
Set us
free? =D
I just told her that it's when we're weak that God is strong.. Prayer = power. but what she didn't see is that I was reluctant in proclaiming this? ... *it's through our brokeness that God uses our lives..broken to be fixed. woooooow..=)*
LALALALALALALALA..
2 words or thoughts?
the real thing
On 11:37 AM , Thursday, June 04, 2009
sometimes, it's weird to know that behind the
visible happening(s), what happens inside is different and just
unexpected.
Picture(s) of bliss.
Word(s) of encouragements.
roar of contentment?
Who knows what
really lays behind huh?
Broken relationships. Broken promises. Unforgiveness. Jealousy. Low Self-image. Unfulfilled expectations. Pressurized. DIVISIONS?
Yet God breaks chains. And chains. And more chains, more chains., more chain..
GAHH. We just need to
fall to
learn? =)
What really hurts is to know too much?
I find it hard to
accept, whether in school or church or even sports.
PRETTY/GENG!! = ACCEPTED.NOT SO PRETTY/NOT SO GENG = IGNORED.
MAYBE.
Chances should be given for the inner being.
But, I guess we're just too
busy for that. huh?
TODAY.
I will find ways to
convince myself that God's timing is perfect.
I will find ways to view this world
upbeat-ly. =)
today as we practised balls. I realised everyone earns the right to speak out their feelings.. I realised it's because of the way I viewed people that people viewed me the same way? *glad to be in this a-g-a-i-n, most-likely-would-lose-but-truly-happy team.* let's 加油!! =)ANYWAY.
WHY MUST HUMAN SWEATS LIEH?
ISHHH.. don't like don't like..=(
is there any sports where people don't sweat? haha!!
LALALALALALALALA..
4 words or thoughts?
"rise.."
On 8:38 PM , Tuesday, June 02, 2009
YAY! finally., back from camp! =D
heheheheheheheheehe..
To be utterly honest. I didn't want to go.
TIRED. DIS-ORGAZNIED.I was tired untill a point, where I couldn't even remember where I am or why am I awake at certain places lieh..
HAHA!! though.
BBQ, was quite a success? =)
*glad to have you all gathered!*
HAIH.
I went to camp with a weary soul?
YUP. LETHARGY (really tired..). WOREN OUT.
Dont know lieh. me not superman?
I get tired of "nevermind"(s) and smiling? and, I really was super malas to talk or face people or fulfill any forms of obligation or expectations.
SORRY. SORRY.
If my reactions were wrong or whatever.
HEHE.
Back to the camp.
DONT KNOW WHY. (really!!!)
1st day, in a mood-less way, kena hit. "RISE.."
"RISE!!"
"RISE AND BE STRONG IN THE LORD!"
"..we fall. We all fall. But we must rise up again."
WOHHH.
It was as if kena slapped.
You know, I never actually fully embrace the word RISE. We fall, and rise up again. We can't just rise up, without falling?
Dont know lie.
School been fun but tough?
Decisions. People. Expectation(s)?
h m m m mm..
NUMB. Immuned from the joy of the Lord.
I came back with a renewed mind.
HEHE. This camp is quite different.
Zero expectations, yet enormous peace-ish peaceful peace.
If you want to pray,
there's a price to pay.
"...I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received."
when did unity became so important? wohh. woh. Yup., transformations are impossible without the older generations.. =D sorry. Sorry, Lord. You know our hearts..

SORRY for being as sticky as the hot glu gun. AHA!! =) cant imagine if we didn't talk, i might end up scolding people all around screaming like mad dog? =P
THANKS. =D
*i have no idea how. really. but let's be stronger and let our passions for people to burn even deeper....=)*
This is what I learnt. Me, no rights to underestimate God's power. =)
Let the poor says I am rich.
Let the blind says I can see.
This's the power of the cross. The answer.
Hosanna, Hosanna. Hosanna..
LALALALALALALALA..
0 words or thoughts?