Paint the . P L A I N

name

On 12:04 AM , Thursday, April 28, 2011

Had a great time in Praise today.
Though the pieces are killing me, loved the time chatting with Kelly. Amazing how God can use people around to teach us a lesson, eh?

Went dinner with Huilin. Then watch basketball match.
I was supporting Paloh, but Eden won.
Went home, slacked and started to settle Shalom's sports day forms.

While typing, realise one of the kids has a really beautiful name.
Very unique, in a way that I hope I had one like that.

But, from what I know, the kid's family is breaking apart.
Parents divorced, kid's grade dropping.
How sad is it eh? They gave their kid a good name but can never give what the kid needed most. Time, love, care..

Trying to move on though.
Can't wait for Saturday to pass by.
I'll learn to sit there and cheer as part of the team.
Sportmanship: hang on eventhough it hurts?

Dreams of having a family keep me going.haha.. =)

LALALALALALALALA..

0 words or thoughts?

:'(

On 10:23 PM , Monday, April 25, 2011

Had the 2nd game today.
Didn't even get to play, not for even 1sec.
Received reply from NTU, failed.

Feel like a total failure la.
Tired with events that are ...
Having next match on the coming Saturday.
Really wonder how am I going to sit through 20min again.

O Lord, if it's about teaching me humility.
Have more mercy on me.

LALALALALALALALA..

0 words or thoughts?

basketball

On 11:00 PM , Saturday, April 23, 2011

I'm not like many of them, played or playing basketball for Kluang or Johor..That's why, I'm always anxious before match and during the game.

But the thing is, when one is nervous.
Judgement is blinded. Right became left; left became right? haha.

Had our team's first game today.
Got to play for quite some time, Iwas dying already in fact.
Horrible stamina, my vision actually got blur and blurer somemore.

Though, It's okay. Had a good time I guess.
A different team, new people.=)

But sometimes I hate big crowd.
With some looking abit nicer; some more popular.
And, some uglier; some neglected.
It reminds me alot of how empty everyone is deep down in their hearts.

Empty. Empty.
Running from events to events.

LALALALALALALALA..

0 words or thoughts?

anger

On 12:27 AM ,

I went through my week as an angry person.
Though not felt or seen in public, deep down I'm angry.
Angry with...basically, everything.

Had a feeling that my family wants me to go to USM so that I can be far away. Started to recall those MSSDs/MSSJs where none of them showed up when I run, or even when I broke record.

Only now did I realize I haven't really moved on from the past.
Those little things. Gathered up, became huge?

How I wish one of you all could have showed up.
But it will never happen.
Of course, I'm clearer than anyone, I've both working parents.
There're sacrifices for the comfort, convenience we get.

Today is Good Friday.
Find myself extremely silly to not forgive while Jesus did it.
Jesus did it. Jesus did it.

Mustn't be easy. Must have been lonely to walk thro'..
still He did it.

LALALALALALALALA..

0 words or thoughts?

fitting in

On 12:23 PM , Sunday, April 10, 2011

It's like fitting clothes before buying.
If it looks good, then people buy. Not good, don't buy.
The problem in real life is, even if it might not fit well we not necessary are allowed to change or be removed from it.

Today I kinda see things ill-bit clearer.
We might invest alot of time, effort, etc..in a certain group of people but guess what? not all friendship is a two-way thing. After all these years.

Feel betrayed. Used.
So not worth it. Strong urge to leave asap.

But I know it's just a feeling.
The more I shouldn't trust it. I'm not stupid la.

LALALALALALALALA..

0 words or thoughts?

On 9:52 PM , Wednesday, April 06, 2011

Spent almost whole day in Praise music centre.
G8 exam coming but still having lots of issues with the high notes.

It has been a month, working as a clerk there.
Typing, organizing, collecting/counting money etc.
Kelam-kabut most of the time but met many interesting people.

There is a family that speaks a lot into my life.
Every Wed night, all of them (3 persons) will come earlier and wait to pick their daughter home. The parents don't look like those high class people but love the way they educate their kids. One of those days the father bought a little gift for the daughter to reward her hard work.

I never got that kind of treatment since young.
I remember when I was form 1 (I think), I waited for almost 1 and half hours after violin lesson before my parents were busy. After violin lesson, whether it went well or I got scolded bad, I would keep quiet in the car as if all went well.

Later did I realized different parents have their own way of expressing love.
Those growing up experiences have made me stronger.

Today as I look back. Near to me, that old violin.
In it, kept lots of emotions. Year in year out.

LALALALALALALALA..

0 words or thoughts?

lalala

On 12:28 AM ,

You know, I realized I spent lots of time on Facebook.
Alot, I mean it. Looking into pictures - friends' or mine..
Status updates, etc. Feel like a slacker.

Of course, thank God I've a job if not, it would be worst la.
Will be sitting for a Munsyi test for USM this Saturday.
But honestly, what lays ahead is still unclear. Those so-called dreams simply fit not into the realistic ground eh?

Though I've found little understanding in being happy.
Found ill-bit more happiness these days.

Part of me finds no passion nor drive to pursue anything.
No aim, of course no gain?

God is gracious enough to pull me in Shalom.
Some days were tough, but I've learnt a lot.
The amazing thing is, day in day out, teachers are ever on fire.
Ready to teach; ready for prayer, in a way that I might not ever be.

Perhaps when I've found my calling, and being placed at the right place; then will I experience what the teachers do.
Pure delight in service; joy in Christ :)

LALALALALALALALA..

0 words or thoughts?

work work

On 2:10 AM , Sunday, April 03, 2011

Sometimes at work, I feel like the meat in between a sandwich.
Dilemma.

After all, I'm still a youth soon-to-be young adult.
To hear from authorities and their explanations, and then stories or heart-felts of the kids/students. To whom do I give my vote to?

Read one of the students' blog.
Writing about love.
Knowing it's wrong for them to do this or that, I can't help it to feel touched by those words. I saw maturity, good qualities that I hope to attain in my future relationship.
but me, as a leader, knowing it'll never work, have to stop it.

Had been quite lost between the week.
Found ill-bit of drive and life Friday when Ps. H.B.Holland spoke.
Had quite a great time yamcha-ing tday :)

Oh Lord, please give me wisdom and discernment.
The right words for the right encounters, b'couse I suck in it.

LALALALALALALALA..

0 words or thoughts?

This is me

TEO XUE QI =)
22-03-91
"Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore"
PSALM 16:11

HEART IT
FACEBOOK
TWITTER
TUMBIR

delights

Tuhan
family
future husband
sports
violin
potatoes
non-loud music
acoustic
jalan-jalan
yam-char

my blog skins

put links to your art or skins here
x Skin name
x Skin name
x Skin name
x Skin name
x Skin name
x Skin name

featured arts

put links to your favorite arts or skins here
x Skin name by name
x Skin name by name
x Skin name by name
x Skin name by name
x Skin name by name

not me!

The rising sun
age old
yet new and inspiring
lighting up the world
with its soft pink rays;
just watching the familiar hues
dance on the still water
I return to emotions
that never truly left.
Just as the sun sets
it rises again
wide arms embracing a new day.

- Li Steins -

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain.

name

:'(

basketball

anger

fitting in

lalala

work work

This is me

delights

my blog skins

featured arts

not me!

loved ones

past tense!