Paint the . P L A I N

taken away?

On 9:04 PM , Wednesday, January 27, 2010

It was months ago when we started to plan for training and even ajak-ed other sport freak to train together. hmmph. It was this fine morning, I was told that for this year's MSSD, there'll not be any events for Under-20 ones.

After much hope.
Aimed to break that MSSD record. haha!
Setting targets to improve, jumped and jumped.
And so, I am of course a bit disheartened.
Though, took it quite well I guess.=)

Today saw one of the teachers' little cute daugther excited and happi-ly playing at the sand pool.
Jumping really near, but delighted for that little jump.
I guess many times esspecially in sports, when we're too engaged into competitions or 'goal'-ies, we kind of miss out the purpose behind sports and lose the pure fresh delight of running, jumping high...XD

Embrace those moments, while there's still one?
Enjoyed, and enjoying the times 'training' in STK.=P
Tired, but still alive.
Torn, but still going strong. =)

LALALALALALALALA..

2 words or thoughts?

love vs. like

On 10:33 PM , Monday, January 25, 2010

Today as I was out jalan-jalan saw a purse just like mine on sale for RM8. Mine, really koyak liao same as my pencil box, school bag, voilin case, sport shoes etc..XD Didn't buy it though was cheap, thinking it might be time for a change. But it can never replace the old one, eh?

Was watching a show yesterday night. About a long-married couple. They were going to divorce after 20 years of marriage. At the edge of making the decision, the woman said something very inspiring: "I love him, so does he loves me very much. But we just don't like each other like we used to."

Duno bah. This phase instantly reflects lots of what that's in my mind. We can easily like something/people and label them special but that doesn't neccessary last. If we love, though we might not like that thing/person all the time.., we will somehow miss and feel incomplete without it/them.

Realise liking might be just a stimulated excitment.
But falling in love with someone/something can make this world worth living in bah. =)
I guess, the power of love can be really strong.
Though, there'll be times where what we love are taken away for purposes, perhaps yet to be known. If so, does your "love" compromises hurts as "Love keeps no records of wrongs.." or accumulates pain?

Realised how indescribably amazing love is.
More than happy-ly like-ish thrilled feelings.
It lasts. It survives, survives and survives..=)

LALALALALALALALA..

6 words or thoughts?

family?

On 11:38 AM , Sunday, January 24, 2010

Today I was partially deaf and my throat still macam itu. Instantly can feel what it's like to not have all functioning body parts.

Church wasn't full. Some off for mission; I heard that the Shelter kids are having eye infection. Felt so incomplete. I guess after some time, though we don't know each other that deeply or really well. For the fact that we believe in God, Old or young, our hearts are somehow united like a huge family bah. =) amazing huh?

Sermon was beautiful today.
Though the little kids won't understand, wish they were there.
Glad that though many things can go wrong, even relationships within 'family' members, there's God who restore us and heal. If God's with us, heloo. Takut apa? =P

HAHAHAHAHAHA! =)
Feel like laughing loud.
Inside out.XD

LALALALALALALALA..

4 words or thoughts?

清醒

On 7:34 PM , Saturday, January 23, 2010

that raining morning
pouring out heavily leaving many in deep thoughts
it was, as if God knows how I felt
Couldn't really eat up that dreadfulness
returned to emotions that never truly left
No reason found to vanish
everytime, repeatively. As fresh as ever.
Still, feel so unfair, abandoned
stop asking why.
Loosen chain, yet tightly holding on
Wake up? wake up.
Refined only through fire.
Good-bye, Pain. Helo, Joy.=)

LALALALALALALALA..

0 words or thoughts?

moving on

On 7:13 PM , Thursday, January 21, 2010

I won't lie 'cause It would be fake. Won't deny, haven't been at good good-ish well state for several weeks. =)
Didn't really get enough rest, nor have time to now.
Everyday is like, living for the sake of living?
Though at different point kind of got back on track, but simple things can really alter my emotions and my reactions bah.

I guess, this is what happen when we carry hurts and unsatisfactions and try to move on bah. It's like a wounded soldier being sent to fight for war. We never actually move on eh?

Today as I was jumping and loving the fresh air lots. Recalled an important lesson on moving on bah.
In order to jump high and far, we just have to let some stuff in our lives go ba.
Hard or easy, we can never run away.

Enough. I told myself.
Doubt that this time will be the last time.
Though, was a precious wake-up call. =)

伤军上阵, 更是伤痕累累.
像在雨中飞翔的鸟儿. 挣扎, 原地踏步..

LALALALALALALALA..

0 words or thoughts?

听不见

On 12:27 AM , Tuesday, January 19, 2010

最近都睡眠不足.
睡醒了.. 人真的就能看得更清楚吗?

若大家都仔细用心看,听.寂寞如此喧哗.

LALALALALALALALA..

2 words or thoughts?

meaningless

On 11:00 PM , Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Been finding it hard to accept things that are done behind what that's seen. Perhaps been really tired and "AHHHH.". Thoughts are killing me, a realization that many things are simply meaningless and of worth that we often exaggerate to suit our inabilities. Tired to do the right thing because of being told to, when it suppose to be out of love.

Was at lecture hall and instantly wanted to run out.
Thoughts overwhelmed till a point wanting to just go Home.
No guts. Sat back, covered my face.
Not to reveal how meaningless I think things are.
Sad. What supposed to be done have to be done, I guess.
But why are we even defined by other's "you suppose.."?

Fake world, fake persona.
Only if, you, you, you.. remove your mask.
Wake up. People say nothing, doesn't mean noone knows.

人的一生, 似首优美但凄凉的曲子.
太脆弱, 没有节奏感.
难以捉拿, 让人犹豫, 忧郁.

LALALALALALALALA..

2 words or thoughts?

疯狂

On 8:09 PM , Sunday, January 10, 2010

Beeeen having heavy routines recently.
Here for a moment, there the next moment. haha!
Somehow became the Ketua rumah for Abu Bakar. [==/=)]

Many times really was tired.
Till, I ter-salah recall my mum's handphone number and keep calling the wrong one after school for threee days.== And, some mornings just really hard to wake up. My body was just toooo lethargic to follow my brain's stimulus.

Now feeling good. Slept through hours hahaha!!=)

Well, I guess different people are made for different hardships.
"The Whole world.." is defined differently.
Back to a question been thinking: are we all destined for greatness?

Never downplay insignificant details of life.
Perhaps, 'greatness' isn't always that majestic eh? =)

LALALALALALALALA..

0 words or thoughts?

习惯

On 5:04 PM , Thursday, January 07, 2010

开课了, 不习惯看不见你踪影的日子.
不习惯, 可是人不能太自私.
不能死拖着不属于自己的..

人都得为自己的选择负责任.
背得有点累, 幸好身旁有人吧.[谢谢]=)
放手. 原来可以这么心寒.

慢慢习惯. 没那么简单.

LALALALALALALALA..

5 words or thoughts?

school 10

On 11:36 PM , Monday, January 04, 2010

First day of school, first time in my entire life went to school with that much homeworks not done and still having the courage to go. haha!!=X hmmmph. Many things, people had changed since last year. I guess people just have to move on.

想与世隔绝. 好好调整心情, 习惯.
原来, 到头来. 人都得低头接受许许多多..

LALALALALALALALA..

0 words or thoughts?

good-bye

On 12:39 AM , Saturday, January 02, 2010

Sort of feeeeling "finally..", though a bit reluctant to go back to how life always is.

Find it really amazing, to gather with people of different background, schools, ages for music. =) Been quite some time bah, being 'lock up' in Praise and keep playing the same thing 'till it's better.== Though always feel tired and "AHHHHH!!"., but good to hear piano sound coming out from other rooms, knowing we're sharing the same fate. haha!!=P

Didn't really had a good day.==
Did quite badly during rehersal and kind of discouraged.
Didn't even have dress to wear, feeling horrible for being tanned, injured leg with scars. ==
Thanks to two crazy fellow who went all over Kluang to search for my dress though ended up not buying any but reallly delighted and haha!!=P In the end was mummy who saved my day.=)

HMMMMMMPH.
Though wasn't played perfectly, I did my best.=P
After months, hours.. Hard to believe it's over.
Played this piece, when things were going wrong. Played this piece, when things were getting on track. Ups and downs, it teman-ed me.=)

Thanks for coming. =)
Appreciate the times being together as a team.
Lord, thanks for all that's more than enough. =P

LALALALALALALALA..

2 words or thoughts?

year 2009

On 12:51 AM , Friday, January 01, 2010

hmmmph. Can't really absorb the fact that a year passed by this fast. hmmph. Lots gained and lots lost bah this year.=)

Went back to school to help out in cleaning before violin-ing.=P
Kind of brought back lots of memories.
Both really sweet and sour-ish painful ones I guess. =)

Been really enjoying/feeeling the tension practising for tomorrow's/tonight's performance. Love getting gathered together always for recital though always felt not good enough or what.=P
UUH. Sometimes feel a bit unfair.
Just a single chance, performing for maybe just a few minutes? after long hours of learning, getting better, properly in tune with that song..AHHH.I guess, what matters most is the process bah =)

Been a fruitful year. Year 2009, significant one.=P
Made many wrong decisions, and many times emotionally. Didn't really take the 'fall'-ies well. == though really really awesome one, learnt a lot each day.=D
Praise You, for Your faithfulness.

新的一年的变化, 慢慢来吧.. 慢慢接受.=)

LALALALALALALALA..

2 words or thoughts?

This is me

TEO XUE QI =)
22-03-91
"Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore"
PSALM 16:11

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not me!

The rising sun
age old
yet new and inspiring
lighting up the world
with its soft pink rays;
just watching the familiar hues
dance on the still water
I return to emotions
that never truly left.
Just as the sun sets
it rises again
wide arms embracing a new day.

- Li Steins -

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain.

taken away?

love vs. like

family?

清醒

moving on

听不见

meaningless

疯狂

习惯

school 10

good-bye

year 2009

This is me

delights

my blog skins

featured arts

not me!

loved ones

past tense!