Paint the . P L A I N

On 8:20 PM , Sunday, April 27, 2008

BACK TO EARTH.

HAHA. Well, after 1 month of being out of the situations. Hmm. Finally it's time to say good-bye. HAHA. It has been really, totally insanely, an amazing yet seriously painfully experince. hmm. I cant really describe the pain, when it comes to trying to fight against my own abilities.., but for sure. hm. It's undoubtedly torturing.

After finishing my 800m run. hmm. I was tearing. And tearing. 800m is so hard for me, but bcoz of its though-ness, it made me to push more and more. Since the 1st day of training, i been doubting and figuring out how am I going to do it.. Yet hmm. God really makes wonders.

It has been 1 month. Seeing the same person, silience between two similar souls, bathing in the
ridiculous toilet.. Trying.. and trying. Looking up to the redish sky with amazament, astonished by so many happenings. From rain to crazy YUCK! Sun, moody to energized days.. From unknown, to over-concerning.. HAHA. I really will miss the team, and every single songs and certain characters that are so remarkable.

I shouldn't be. But I trully am.

Today as we split, and say good-bye., everyone was tearing thanking teachers in rolls. I planned not to cry, but it seems to hard to not. It has been a long, far journey, and they were the ones who guided and leaded us to face the dirty truth. Special thanks to trainers, who never give up on me. Even when I failed badly.. Thanks for picking me up and gave me hope for tmrw.

THANK YOU. To so many, and many that brought me through this tough month.
Of coz, family, that strengthens me with tears.
And, above all. YOU, who made, even my failure worthwhile.
It makes me cry to say thanks.

Thank you, Lord.

Penta-list. HAHA. We did not even smile to each other although we face the same people for every event. HAHA. Well, after all.. we became good crazy friends.

Living with different person, hmm. Tells loads of inside stories..

Their heights speak for their events.

This disgusting spike walked and brought me through two years of battles.
YAY?
HAHA. I will miss it. I wonder who will be the next using it..

Oh!! And you!! HAHA. Thanks for simply being there.

I believe, you will come back again.

And make Him proud.

And it ended.
YAY.

Experinces will always live in my heart.
So is the real jaguh!
HAHA. Exam on the way..

LALALALALALALALA..

0 words or thoughts?

On 1:35 PM , Friday, April 18, 2008

AWAY
It has been almost 3 weeks since I actually stabilize myself.
HAHA.

Well, the fact is, It has been an awesome 30+ sesi training as part of Johor team. HEHE. Time flied so fast, huh?

Basically, every morning we meet at 6:45am and sing songs. hmm. I would say seriously LOW pitch songs. HAHA.And, walk to stadium from our asrama, joking, laughing, worrying some days, MP3-ing..After training, we go to sch. HAHA. erm. For the 1st week, and we started ponteng, or some even hide themselves to not be found! HAHA. We study at SMK Taman Kluang Barat, and everyone treats us as humans from outer space., same yet weird.

HAHA? hmm. HAHA.

Then, we train around 4pm till we are satisfied.. Well, ya. At night, we would study together in noisy classes. HAHA. Or wonder around to find solutions for stuff that we hav not learnt about. Well, that was the routine I went through for weeks, that seem so sudden.

Living among the Malays, Indians and Chinese fr different backgrounds are obviously hard. My beloved comb always 'run away', and get itself back. HAHA. For my room, basically isn't any racial room bcoz we are all of different rates in terms of skin colours. It's fun and one-kind-of experince to live with many's insane-ness and lame-ness. HAHA.

Trainings were tiring and sickening at times. Well, I am taking part in Penta. Which means that i train for different events every sesi. I cant really run long distance well, but i guess God always has His plans. and i need to run 800m. hmm. The feeling is tortural, and eats up a lot of me.

This is my last year, and my first year. Sounds weird? hmm. Thinking of the younger 12-year-old ones who made into the team at such young age, hmm. It melts me, yet made my only year remarkable.

I guess, God makes wonders. When we least expected, huh ?

Medals are optional. Winner is in our heart.

HAHA. Hurdle-ing, hurdle-ing lor..

Every night, we would face a clear silience. Complete darkness with lights around stadium. Thinking, and thinking..

For the first time, facing situations that I hardly can imagine, stronger people. Make things work even if I am disappointed.

It reminds me of the iffy weather that enables us to gasp for rest..
And the days where laughters surrounded so deeply that cause my stomach to cramp.
Of course, the moments before a run.

Hmm. Lord. Again. Thank you.
Not my will, but Your perfect will.

"Now my heart is troubled, and what shall I say? 'Father, save me from this hour? No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour. Father, glorify your name!" JOHN 12:27-28

LALALALALALALALA..

0 words or thoughts?

On 6:22 PM , Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Dreams.
People dream. So do I.

I always dream of making through to MSSM. It supposed to be merely another dream that is far beyond sight. But guess what? It came through, and it didnt.

I am now under penilaian, which means i am not i the Johor team yet. I might be kicked out if i dont reach certain excellences with good discipline.

HAHA?

hmm. I am really glad. But just that, it's so hard to fit in when i myself dont really accept my own existance in the team. hm. I just came back to school, and realized. Things go on even if I am not there. So true huh? hm. Then some tragic drama from teachers beset me right after i am back.

HAHA?

I U day is this weekend, and it saddens me to know that i cant spend much time with them. Basketball competition is coming soon. Basically, we are not allowed to take part. hmm.

I have enough of being out of the world. Rejected wholly by the entire universe. well, just becoz of this little hidden dream of mine, i guess I have to face the music. I almost cried when we were told that we have to stay at the asrama. But i know, i should know the price will not be that low.

I will miss home.
I will miss schooling.
I will miss Yf-ing.
I will miss violin teacher.

But i know, if that is Your will. Let it be. I will try to fit in. I will try to cope. I will try to not disappoint teachers that hoped.

It sounds silly. But i will try.
Perhaps, it never is just a dream to me..

LALALALALALALALA..

0 words or thoughts?

On 3:32 PM , Tuesday, April 01, 2008

I am amazed.
THANK YOU LORD.

LALALALALALALALA..

0 words or thoughts?

This is me

TEO XUE QI =)
22-03-91
"Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore"
PSALM 16:11

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