Paint the . P L A I N

reflection

On 7:04 PM , Wednesday, May 19, 2010

It has been a hard week, much reflection is needed. =)
Exam soon, hard to imagine but yesh.. One year gone. Soon, time to go? Somehow, sometimes, feeling out-of-place, not lost but just don't want/tired to be at where I'm?

That day. Last day of practice. hahaha.
They always say I torture them, but that day, they did all out.
Chetwin even took a died frog to scare all the girls away.== haha.
somehow, I miss those days. Though really was tiring to scream [sometimes lar] or direct after a long tiring early morning. At the end of the day, contented to see them giving their best. Something for sure: we just never get bored of doing what we love, eh? :)

You know, everytime driving back home after violin classes, I can't help it to feel excited for the pieces I'm or yet to play. But, ill-confused and == that here I'm, not striving for what I love nor where I want to be at. The hardest thing, perhaps isn't accepting how not-smart you're, but, accepting where you're placed, eh?

Struggled with letting go. I did let go.
But sometimes, especially rainy days, recall.

Heard a very powerful song. It reminded me of the calling we held on to in the beginning. Back then, used to have a clear identity of who I'm, why I'm here. Did brokenness, or self-centered-ness, loneliness, fame, failures, or even changes, took away that cry, calling to change lives?

Love what Josie posted: Pursue what you really like to do and according to His calling. One person one life, don't let the world decide your future for you.

Father, lead them Home. :)

LALALALALALALALA..

0 words or thoughts?

orientation

On 7:12 PM , Wednesday, May 12, 2010

It has been a crazy week, even the week before this. From preparation till surviving through the week. Hard to really imagine how we got through, but, haha. Here I am, alive.=)

I won't deny. Learnt lots of lessons in this week alone.
From the team, and from the Lower students.
I realised that I'm an emotion-oriented fellow who can't really cope with disagreement in times of crisis. But glad that I'm given a chance to be stressed out, stretched, in order to learn. On the other hand, saw the ugly side of human being selfish nor conscious about it.

You know, one week alone.
That sketch, registration stuff,
duty calls, homeworks, exam, responsibilities.
Seriously, crazy.
Nearly break, nearly explode. So close.

Though, really appreciate the time spent. haha. Makan-ing in a really really dirty, sticky, extremely exhausted/yuck-ish condition together. Those crazy moments shared; and when we disagree and were honest enough to speak things out. Suddenly realised, this will be the last major event conducted together, eh? So fast....

Though it isn't easy to receive critism from Lower or the cost of being out of class for days, I do enjoy this crazy week.
Crazy enough, worthwhile enough.=)

Glad that it's quite well-done.
Ill-sad that, man, it's May and soon over. Not ready for good-byes.
From their life, I see mine. One year day ago, feeling dreadful and wondering what's next.

'Till today, I don't know what's next.
I don't know how. How am I going to survive STPM.haha.
Thank You, because You know, I don't know.=P

LALALALALALALALA..

2 words or thoughts?

strangers

On 5:49 PM , Wednesday, May 05, 2010

Finally, MUET ended. =) I registered late, therefore was arranged with people I don't know. Had a great time chit-chat-ing with my primary teacher, haha, who was forced to take that exam. Then, had my speaking section with three strangers: one tentera, one after-STPM-no-work candidate and a trying-to-find-work man.

The two men weren't well-prepared, as in knowing the formal etc, though, I can see they were passionate and wanting to learn. That tentera mentioned that he wants to learn more, that's why he took that exam. During the discussion, he kinda went out of topic, stressing on the importance of parental guidance which will influence the child's mindset.

It was then, though I don't know him well, I know, he's a dad.
And a concerned dad. =)

The discussion wasn't perfect, but, we said what we trully stand by.
Four strangers, walked off the exam hall with joy.
And oddly, together.
And off to whereever we're heading to. Back to strangers.

Had lunch and saw an interestingly contradictive scenario.
A man smoking, even when eating with his wife and daughter;
A man, alone with empty sits around him: eating mee-siam, a cup of coffee and a packet of cigarette.

Two strangers, or smokers.
One doesn't know how blessed he's;
one prevails loneliness.

These strangers, they inspired me.
Some fighting for a better life; some accepted life.

Realise I've been too narrow-minded.
At last, feeling happy. After quite some time.
But, that's just a feeling, eh?
Enough, I want myself back, teo-xue-qi. =)

LALALALALALALALA..

3 words or thoughts?

This is me

TEO XUE QI =)
22-03-91
"Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore"
PSALM 16:11

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The rising sun
age old
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lighting up the world
with its soft pink rays;
just watching the familiar hues
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain.

reflection

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strangers

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