Paint the . P L A I N

On 10:08 PM , Sunday, September 30, 2007

I carried grudges in my life.

One of it, is my desire to be in a sport school.

Last Thursday, En.anand was talking about TID, a way where trainers discover atlets, and keep them as their sport sport's atlet. He said, when we were F1, there was a calling. A calling to test, and qualify TRUE atlets. I hav no idea of such event. We were told tat, Yamina, a former Convent girl, is choosen. Now, she is SUKMA no1 for some sukan.

He said:"Masa itu, Teoxueqi dapat pertama, kenapa saya tak pilih dia pergi?"

I was told. He wanted to keep me in Convent.

Cut long to short, i m who i m bcoz of teachers' selfishness. I never had a chance to make my desicion. Yet, throughout the years, i been blushed in confusion. I never know about this. It was a chance that is never told.

I had a sudden breakdown. I mean, WHY? 1st thought: so unfair!

SO SO SO so so so heart-breaking. But, thinking of how i would not be by now, i had a sudden gladness. Juz glad. bcoz, i wont be who i m now, i wont know God, neither would i be going through so many soul-stirring moments. What a thrilling life! I had lots of treasure. Treasure that is uncountable by gold. But, love

I guess. It's true. Most human beings have an almost infinite capacity for taking things for granted.

But, i dont wanna be one of those.

I always ask, Lord, why not a special sch? Why must i be the same?

Perhaps, that is what we are made to challenge with. How are we going to differenciate you, and others. Flame wont last, but life-changing experinces can.

I realise. It's not about me. It never is. It never will. I hav to accept, i m not made to be one. ya, i might be close, but i will never be. Yet, so often, we are so self-centered. We, me. So selfish that, we bcome so inmature to create jealousy, fight for friendship, feel free to mistreat each other. Quite obvious, we forgot. Forgot about who we are. How small we are, utterly what we should do.

We, included me. Obviously.

I was a painful reminder for me. But, when eyes are set far away from ourselves, hm. We will find peace. We will find satisfaction. We will find love, that lasts, and more valueable then my shopping list.

LALALALALALALALA..

0 words or thoughts?

This is me

TEO XUE QI =)
22-03-91
"Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore"
PSALM 16:11

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