Paint the . P L A I N

On 10:37 PM , Monday, December 15, 2008

ESPlosion 7

W-O-W. Is the word for Pastor Victor's sermon.
SO practical and real in life.
Others., hmm.
Well, I went to the camp mainly, with hopes of receiving God's direction and where to go after SPM. You see, since years ago, esspecially after my sis decided to stay for FORM 6, I told myself I will NOT study F6 or stay in this town. I couldn't wait to have "life", freedom, curfew-less etc. I never actually understood why on earth people are willing to stay for people who do not even care whether you are alive or not (face it, this is reality). But yet when I have the decision right in front of me, I feel tired with LIFE and its routine (study, study more, grow up, get married, have family, happy!, OLD, grandchildren, die).
WHAT lah. so this is life, huh? More options, more problem.

For huge amount of time in camp, I spent time thinking, sleeping, crying alone. It hurts, to know that there're always people better out there and something greater that is more worthy than me. But within the thin air and silience, it comforts me to know, and deeply sense His presence and love even when out there, others are happily gathered and laughing. =)

One thing that really wrenched my heart was when Wei Shin shared his life in Terengganu, he said that it was that time where he is helpless, alone that he found God.
WOW.

I get it, n-o-w.
God has His timing.
I worry not.

Ya, maybe I will miss meeting new cool International friends.
And even loses much chances to travel.
Or even loses a quicker meet with my future husband.
Or feel down to hear people finishing their studies in great places..
But I want to be where God is.
I want to be where the lost is. (Youshua's workshop was A-W-E-S-O-M-E)

" If you can tell where you got the call of God and all about it, I question whether you have ever had a call. The call of God does not come like that, it is much more supernatural. The realization of it in a man's life may come with a sudden thunderclap or with gradual dawning, but in whatever way it comes, it comes with the undercurrent of the supernatural, something that cannot be put into words." - Oswald Chamber

I guess His call is always clear and there.
Just that I never wanted to accept nor hear.

AT LAST.
YAY-ioesss!!., finally ESP ended.
Thank the Lord, for opportunity to play violin =)
and remember the night Ps Victor asked us to write down our talent.
This was what I wrote. " I can jump., jump! jump!"
I felt shameful after writting it, but too bad I wrote it with a pen.
I said goodbye to jumping months ago after MSSM. I know I do not have the rights to write this not-talent talent.
You see, I am not like those young ones who excel at young age and keep winning etc. And that night brought me back to those training days. To be exact, moments before running 800m.
I remember Jeanette said that It's the most helpless, no-options time that we find God.
I am glad, to have longer legs and able to jump. Despite being teased or categorised as abnormal.
I guess, HEHE. We never know how our talent will be used in future yor~

CONCLUSION-
I learnt to surrender.
To the King of kings, Lord of lords.

LALALALALALALALA..

4 words or thoughts?

This is me

TEO XUE QI =)
22-03-91
"Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore"
PSALM 16:11

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